This is a Cold War. Do you know what you’re fighting for?

“So you think I’m alone?  But being alone’s the only way to be” – Janelle Monae

Meghan has been gone for 5 months.

This is not really significant except to say that this 5 month marker of her departure for Korea coincides with, due to our respective vacations, the longest time in the 9 month period since we started spending time together (and here I can’t believe that it’s been that long) that we have not talked.  A week.

Which seems strange considering the fact that she’s been out of the country for so long, but we’ve managed to communicate in some form nearly every day since then.  That’s not a statement of good or bad, that’s just the way it’s been.

Love is a series of synapses firing – that’s what people tend to say if I mention her.  “Just remember, all it is is synapses firing.”  I guess that’s true.  What is it about brain chemistry that makes it less significant and unique than if emotions were caused by some sort of mystical power?  I can’t explain it either way, but if I could, I think it would be impressive that one person would be able to trigger those reactions in your brain more so than others.

So I guess if someone asked what I liked about Meghan, I’d say “she is constructed by a set of molecules that trigger a reaction in my brain in a way that makes me feel like my unique set of molecules is acceptable and not misaligned in some inexorable way.”

I wonder if when I look back on my life I will see this is a happy or a sad period.


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