She Drink Coffee, She Drink Tea,

A Rooster Crows.

Dustin wants a full spectrum light.  He says he suffers from seasonal affected disorder and his friends say that sitting under a full spectrum light for a few minutes in the morning can make you feel a lot better.  And if it doesn’t work at least you have a nice lamp for your living room.

Today we were talking about fighting the good fight and he said “Charles, I don’t know if you’re always fighting the good fight” and I said “The problem is I want to fight every fight” and he said “I don’t want to fight any fight.”

Sea lion woman.  Dressed in red.  Smile at the man when you wake up in his bed.

Greg Larson is maybe my oldest friend.  By oldest I mean the friend whom I’ve been friends with the longest.  I don’t see him much anymore.  People who know us say that we’re almost the same person, except I’m slightly more sane.

Red is like passionate.  It is like blood.  It is like alive.  It is like lipstick.  It is like hearts.  It is like embarrassment.  It is like undercooked steak.  It is like rage.

We live opposite iterations of the same person’s life.  He plays music and goes to school.  I work in an office.  I imagine that each of us secretly wishes to be able to do the other.  That’s what she said.

He’s my oldest friend but he’s barely my friend any more.  He’s my dream of better times.  He’s everything I wish I could be and everything I fear.

I’m dating his ex-girlfriend.

Sea lion woman.  Dressed in black.  Wink at the man and then stab him in his back.

“Phased out” is an accurate term to describe my current relationship with my other friends.  Nobody cares.

Black is like death.  It is like mourning.  It is like nothingness.  It is like allure.  It is like night.  It is like formal clothing.

No one knows.  No one understands.  But they look at me and somehow they know not to ask.

Sea lion woman.  Dressed in white.  Marry the man and you’ll live a long sweet life.

A person whom I wouldn’t have expected reached out to me in a time of need.  That act alone meant something to me.  A person whom I would have expected to be sympathetic was not.  Everyone else was apathetic or ignorant.

White is like peace.  It is like hope.  It is like doves.  It is like marriage.  It is like purity.  It is like marshmallows.  It is like clouds.

Everyone. Else.

Sea lion woman.  Dressed in green.  Silver lining and golden seams.

It’s very cold in my house.  The heating system isn’t powerful enough to heat any of the rooms.  It doesn’t blow enough hot air.  Or the house’s insulation is too weak to retain any heat.  The result is that I don’t leave my bedroom unless something drastic happens.

Green is like grass.  It is like nausea.  It is like nature.  It is like mold.  It is like spoiled food.  It is like toxins.  It is like growth.

It is like envy.

You can’t trust anyone.  You can’t rely on anyone.  You can’t hide.  You can’t be free.  You just live and die and sleep and eat and react and pretend.  Somehow there is still hope.  But I don’t know what that is.

Sea lion woman.  Dressed in blue.  Call on the man and hope he knows what he can do.

Love is sky blue.

It’s not over, but it is over.


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